The Struggle

pexels-photo-167964.jpegThis post was originally going to be about how I’m struggling to find balance. Don’t get me wrong the struggle is still very much real! But as I sit in my bed typing I realized how blessed I am. Growing up my dad was very strict and at times very hypocritical (Another story for another day) but living in that environment has somehow made me into a perfectionist. My rational mind knows that perfection is unattainable but that little girl in me still drives herself crazy trying to achieve this unattainable goal. As I sit here writing early on a Sunday morning I must acknowledge that I have come a long way. Neither of parents graduated from college but I always knew that obtaining a degree was a goal of mine (My mother later obtained an Associate’s degree. Yay Mama!). But look at me! Here I am with a Master’s degree doing what I always wanted to do. I’m still stressed as heck at times in this Master’s prepared job. Some days I go to work wondering what the heck I am doing. There are times where the people I should be able to go to for help turn me away or make me feel less than (Not direct coworkers). 

At the end of the day I do really enjoy what I am doing and I am living out my dreams. I have an amazing husband and beautiful daughter. Isn’t that enough? Sure, it is! But how on earth do I work through the chaos of the struggle? How do I balance the stress of work, being a wife, and being a mother with all the many things that life throws my way? Let me tell you what I have been doing.

First, I do like I’m doing now. Take a moment and try to realize how blessed I truly am. It’s hard trying to be positive when everything seems to be going to hell, but if I really think about it everything always works out. No matter your spiritual beliefs I think it’s important to believe in something bigger than yourself. For me, it’s nice to know that despite my short comings a higher being is looking out for me. If you don’t believe that then that’s ok but prayer and meditation always seem to relax me and brings me a sense of hope.

I remember a past church sermon that spoke on this topic of feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes you need people on you team that are there to hear your complaints and give you advice. The person that you vent your problems to may just be a listening ear. They may not actually give advice (It’s ok to get advice from a totally different person). You ever have a friend that you know you can talk to about anything? They talk trash and say just what you need to hear at that moment. Heck they are ready to go confront somebody if you need it! (You never really follow through with it-well most of the time at least). But let’s be real, you don’t actual take their advice serious. On the other hand, there is the person you go to when you really do need advice. Someone who is rational and able to talk you off the emotional ledge. I believe that having someone to talk to is important. You may not ever take their advice, but it is nice to have another perspective. Mind you, it is CRUCIAL to know who you are telling your secrets to. Not everyone that is available to listen should be the one you share your problems with. I know it’s hard to believe but there are people in this world who don’t want you to be happy or succeed. These people are sometimes disguised as “friends”. Be mindful of this. Even at your most difficult times it’s important to not let emotions blind you of people’s true intentions.

Another thing I find helpful is making a to do list.  I know you are probably thinking what good is a to do list if you don’t have time to do it.? However, sometimes when I write down all the task that are running around in my head, it seems less overwhelming. I can visualize the tasks at hand and cross them out one by one. It’s sort of therapeutic watching the list get smaller.

Lastly, take time for yourself. I feel like I say this a lot but never actually follow through. I’m currently working to find things that interest me and give me a little balance. I have started to incorporate working out into my schedule. Finding time to workout has been a struggle on it’s own, but when I do work out consistently I have feel more relaxed and less fatigued. Fatigue is another big part of the struggle (Am I the only one who feels tired ALL THE TIME?)

I often wonder if the struggle will ever NOT be SO real? I like to think yes but in reality the answer is problem no. Life is full of struggles. We just have to learn to deal with them and turn those lemons into lemonade (Cliché, I know). Sometimes being grateful and just acknowledging your blessings is enough to get you over the hump.

I would love to hear how you guys work through “the struggle”. Leave your comments below.

Love,

Tamekia